At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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