I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
