just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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