Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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