I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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