I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize