I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
50% drunk capacity currently
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
