We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
