Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
