Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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