I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
