i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish you could order shots online.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In other news, I just burned my penis
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
