all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
