after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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