I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
