can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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