real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize