you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
