If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
