Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize