I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
