I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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