Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
