Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
