Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize