I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
