We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
