He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
