Your tits are I can't wait for
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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