dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
