i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
