is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
