There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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