Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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