i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
