I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
