the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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