Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
