I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
