i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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