yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to calm my uterus...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
