you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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