I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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