Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
