Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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