Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize