you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
