Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
