How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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