on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
