dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
