I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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