So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
