btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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