i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
