I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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