His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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