Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
