I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
