god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sext me about skeletons
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
