rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize