I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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