he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
