walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
