I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
