so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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