Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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