what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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