She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
