Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
